Happy New Year. Probably.

With only hours left in 2011, John Stoke’s apocalyptic prediction that global warming would kill 4.5 billion of us by tomorrow looks unlikely.

I just checked the news and Australia is still there (with minutes of 2011 left). I think we’re gonna make it.

You can count-down the last moments of mankind on Gaia in the left sidebar, unless Stokes is just another alarmist fool who liked to make crazy 5-year predictions to scare people and then hope everyone had forgotten by the due date. Heh.

the final countdown

Assuming there is no last minute surprise attack by pesky methane clathrates, the Daily Bayonet wishes you a safe and happy 2012.

Hippie of the Year

Julia Gillard

on ya, Jules*

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard has won the inaugural and almost-coveted Hippie of the Year Award.

Ms. Gillard won for her unswerving devotion to power and breaking her campaign promise that there would be “no carbon tax under the government I lead”:

..

From the original Hippie of the Week post, the awful truth:

What changed her mind was her need to form a coalition government with the greens if she was to grab power. So she broke her promise to the voters and paid the Greens their Danegeld. But not to worry, it’s not like being the only major developed economy with a carbon tax carbon tax will wreck the nation’s economy or anything. Oh, wait.

A chemical giant has already shelved a billion dollar project because of the carbon tax. In fact, the only people happy about the carbon tax are the Greens and investment banks. And Julia Gillard, because she’s still Prime Minister.

For those interested, Gillard won with 29.3% of the vote, beating David Suzuki by 20 votes.

Aussies all over, er, Australia will be celebrating by tossing another prawn on the barbies, cracking tinnies and grabbing random Sheila’s for mutual dwarf juggling. Or Something.

And now, the final** global hottie of the year, and Aussie, Nicole Kidman.

*click*

Thanks for reading The Daily Bayonet, the weekly round-up will return next Thursday, complete with the first Hippie of the Week of 2012.

*For readers not fluent in Australian, a term of congratulations.

**Unless a certain weepy activist does something notable in the next day or so.

10 million gone with the wind

Wind turbine owners in the UK were paid £10 million in 2011 to turn off their units when the wind blew too hard:

Official figures disclosed that 17 operators were paid almost £7?million for shutting down their farms on almost 40 ­occasions between January and mid-September. Continuing to make payments at that rate would lead to householders paying out £9.9?million in 2011 for operators to disconnect their turbines from the National Grid.

The scale of the payments triggered a review of the rules on so-called constraint payments. The payments are made when too much electricity floods the grid, with the network unable to absorb any excess power generated. The money is ultimately added on to household bills and paid for by consumers.

At least some politicians seem to be figuring out that the only things the giant fans are good for is shredding birds:

“Onshore wind generation requires a 100 per cent back-up of carbon-burning technology or nuclear energy, should the wind not blow, and in addition to the devastation of the visual environment there are the problems of noise and flicker. They are the wrong renewables choice.”

Britain is suffering from a crime wave by metal thieves who take anything made of metal that can be melted down and sold for scrap. Has anyone thought to point out to these public menaces that wind turbines are made of metal?

jackpot!

Just saying.

10 million gone with the wind

Wind turbine owners in the UK were paid £10 million in 2011 to turn off their units when the wind blew too hard:

Official figures disclosed that 17 operators were paid almost £7?million for shutting down their farms on almost 40 ­occasions between January and mid-September. Continuing to make payments at that rate would lead to householders paying out £9.9?million in 2011 for operators to disconnect their turbines from the National Grid.

The scale of the payments triggered a review of the rules on so-called constraint payments. The payments are made when too much electricity floods the grid, with the network unable to absorb any excess power generated. The money is ultimately added on to household bills and paid for by consumers.

At least some politicians seem to be figuring out that the only things the giant fans are good for is shredding birds:

“Onshore wind generation requires a 100 per cent back-up of carbon-burning technology or nuclear energy, should the wind not blow, and in addition to the devastation of the visual environment there are the problems of noise and flicker. They are the wrong renewables choice.”

Britain is suffering from a crime wave by metal thieves who take anything made of metal that can be melted down and sold for scrap. Has anyone thought to point out to these public menaces that wind turbines are made of metal?

jackpot!

Just saying.

Everything you ever needed to know about man-made global warming in one sentence and a graph

Man-made global warming is scientific fraud propounded by ‘scientists’ unfit to shine Einstein’s shoes, promoted by misanthropic scoundrels, anti-energy wastrels and hippies with an Oedipal complex about Mother Earth.

climate crisis, what crisis?

You’re welcome.

Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Dec. 22nd 2011

The search for the Hippie of the Year is down to the final six, intemperate hippies hope to send skeptics into orbit and green technology is bad for Gaia.

This is the final round-up of 2011. It will return, with a few tweaks, January 5th 2012. The Daily Bayonet thanks you for your readership and support in 2011, and wishes you a very Merry Christmas.

Part One: Hippie of the Week Year

The BBC, Julia Gillard and David Suzuki advance from last week to join Prince Charles, Tim Flannery and Richard Branson in a hippie cage match to find 2011’s Hippie of the Year.

Vote below, the poll closes midnight December 28th, and winner will be announced in a special post on the 29th. Good luck to all our nominees, or something.

.

.

Part Two: Warmists

As another year of scaremonger fail draws to a close, activists are pondering their navels and looking for reasons why fewer people believe that man-made global warming is a real threat. DeSmog figures it’s the fault of Fox News for daring to cover skeptical arguments, because at DeSmog they prefer the ‘SHUT UP’ method of communication. The Yale climate change forum thinks people are turned off by alarmist warnings, but Grister David Roberts wants to ramp up the scary narrative:

Knocking people out of their tunnel-vision daily lives and into civic or political action — a necessary precondition for any action that’s not to the liking of status quo elites — requires more than hope for a better future; it also requires fear of losing what is now possessed. Terror that’s not accompanied by a road forward and a sense of efficacy just shuts people down, yes. But happy, inspiring possibilities unaccompanied by a threat fail to generate much passion or intensity.

Let’s hope Roberts argument carries the day, because every time he and his warmist friends ring the global warming alarm bell, another skeptic gets his wings.

California Governor Jerry Brown is to prepare the Golden State for global warming. Apparently mass evacuations already caused by high taxes, red-tape and a generally anti-energy, anti-business climate isn’t enough and more preparation is needed. So all this time, driving people out of California was the plan. Who knew?

Katherine Hayhoe, a HOTW alum, has been caught talking nonsense about extreme weather in Texas.

Hippies and unintended consequences are like bugs and windshields. They never see it coming until their arse is where their brain should be. Thanks to US based Nature Conservancy and the African Wildlife Foundation charities, the Sambura people of Kenya have been evicted from their land, and beaten, abused and worse by local authorities.

An old boiler from California says old boilers will kill people because Republicans are evil, or something.

Montreal residents like milder winters, but the guilt is crushing them:

…many confused Montrealers nowadays who are suffering from Global Warming Guilt Syndrome – torn between fearing global warming and enjoying it.

Hippie heartache as the 100-watt light bulb lives to light another day.

Al Gore notices that he’s made of fail:

An analysis released over the weekend tells us that global carbon emissions leaped 5.9% in 2010, the largest absolute jump since the Industrial Revolution.

$300 million doesn’t buy much, does it, Al?

Richard Branson, Raj Pachauri and friends figured it would be a great wheeze if they could send ‘deniers’ into space, for a one-way trip. Minx the Merciless was less than impressed by yet another peek into the black hearts of warmists, and even Revkin thinks it’s time for Pachauri to go.

Oh noes, Ontario’s polar bears are doomed. Add them to The List.

Global warming is a miracle disaster. How else it is possible for every place to be hardest hit, at the same time?

Al Gore has discovered something he likes to call ‘sustainable capitalism‘. Because rebranding the issue every time you screw up has worked well so far, right Al?

Greenpeace is friends with Facebook again. Aw.

The IPCC may never recover from the effects of Donna Laframboise’s exposé (an excellent Christmas gift idea for the warmist in your life). Already one expert is bailing on the next report. Expect more to quit before the good ship IPCC runs aground.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

The National Association of Scholars is perturbed by what it sees in the realm of climate ‘science’:

The pursuit of knowledge through science can’t proceed if scientists refuse to share data and methods.  In defense of their refusal to share data, suppress its release or even destroy it, climate scientists have claimed that because those asking for the data are skeptics, they will only use the data to try and undermine their results.  So what?  Either the data and methods stand up to scrutiny and the results are robust or they are not.

Either way, the skeptics have done the world a service.  If the skeptics’ attempts to recreate the results end up confirming the results, then the findings are on more solid ground and the public can lend the work greater credence.  If, on the other hand, skeptics do find flaws in the data, methods or results, then from the point of view of knowledge, the world is still better off.

Eight questions that could kill Kyoto in 2012. They’re not bad, but it looks like the best one is missing:

  • Can your nations economy stand to pay trillions to prevent slightly milder weather that may or may not be caused by a harmless trace gas essential to life on Earth?

That’s a gotcha, right there.

Gray wolves are off the endangered species list. It’s almost as if Gaia doesn’t need to be saved.

Everything you ever needed to know about the politics and history of cap and trade.

Anthony Watts has been given the status of expert reviewer for the IPCC’s AR5 report. Wait, Watt?

Joe Romm took Watt's IPCC appointment badly

India kicks Gaia in the soft parts, refuses to apply any binding commitment to reduce emissions. Kyoto and Australia’s increasingly isolated government hardest hit.

Got wood? Biomass fuels are pushing up furniture costs.

British Columbia drops the pretense that going green creates jobs as the Premier admits to the conflict between being green and growing jobs and the economy:

Clark admits her government is wrestling with a conflict when it comes to creating jobs in the energy sector while sticking to British Columbia’s legal commitment to the toughest greenhouse gas emission cuts in North America. In a year-end interview with The Canadian Press, Clark said a team of advisors inside and outside of government are looking for ways to meet the targets without losing the potential to create thousands of jobs in Kitimat, Fort Nelson and Dawson Creek through natural gas projects.

The EU is pushing hard to apply a new green airline tax, but the world is pushing back.

Germans aren’t afraid of the weather, and see no need to give up anything to save the planet. It’s exactly the same story in the UK, where concern is down and so is willingness to pay for saving the climate.

SHUT UP, explained the IPCC:

Josh had been filming the entire exchange, but now an aide put a hand over the camera lens. When I remarked that just walking off was bad manners, the aide said “You are not worth debating.” I replied, “All he had to do was answer two simple questions.” I was amazed when the aide responded, “He is the Secretary General of the World Meteorological Organisation. He does not have to answer your questions.” The aide then walked off just as rudely as his boss had.

Lord Monckton is preparing evidence to launch a fraud probe into climate scientists. If he manages to implicate the US Department of Energy, there just won’t be enough popcorn to go around.

The US is heading for a union vs. green showdown. Will the purple people beaters prevail, or will Gaia’s greens get ’em first?

Oil giant BP had given up on solar and shut down operations. In this case, it wasn’t the Sun, stupid.

Hmm, what happens when you invent a market to trade a colorless, odorless, valueless commodity? Freefall, that’s what. Again.

Green tech is supposed to save the planet, except it’s killing it:

So far in 2011, auto manufacturers have sold 15,068 electric vehicles in the U.S., and each one requires 10 pounds of rare earth magnets. That means that through the end of November, hybrids and electric vehicles sales consumed between 4,904,820 and 6,093,355 pounds of rare earths. That’s somewhere between 2,452 and 3,047 tons.

If processing one ton of rare earth elements produces approximately 75 cubic meters of acidic waste water and about one ton of radioactive waste residue, then hybrid and electric vehicles alone produce between 183,900 and 228,525 cubic meters of acidic waste water and between 2,452 and 3,047 tons of radioactive waste.

Still feeling good about the Chevy Volt, hippies?

Part Four: Global Hottie

This week’s hottie is so hot she convinced Robin Williams that global warming is real. And happening in his pants, or something. With endless gratitude to the New Nostradamus of the North for the suggestion, and link, your final global hottie of 2011 is Sofia Vergara.

*click*

Thanks for reading.

Thrill-seeking for Gaia, Part Deux

Once upon a long ago, explorers were rugged men with rugged beards and rugged intentions to wander all over the planet until they’d seen all of it. Even the really remote cold bits.

100 years ago, Roald Amundsen, a Norwegian of notorious ruggedness, led the first team to reach the South Pole. He beat Scott’s expedition to the South Pole by a month, and even left a letter for his rival in a tent:

The five men spent several days in the area, taking measurements, recording distances, and making every effort they could to ensure that they had indeed reached the South Pole and could also demonstrate as much to those who demanded proof. That task completed, they pitched a small tent alongside the flag, in which they left several items including a letter for King Haakon (which they hoped Scott could deliver in case they did not return home safely), as well as a few words for Scott, who, “I must assume will be the first to visit the place after us.”

Not content with simply toddling off to parts unknown, these great explorers actually raced each other to the most inhospitable places on Earth. And all for the adventure, the glory and the freedom to grow a rugged beard well away from the wife’s objections.

In the early 21st Century, adventuring isn’t what it used to be. For a start, there are no grand plans to conquer a remote bit of Gaia, just a dart and a world map:

We decided to spend the holidays somewhere randomly. Somewhere far away from family and friends, in a place that could offer the trip of a lifetime. And we certainly did hit the spot. Literally. We picked a destination by taking a leap of faith and throwing a dart blindfolded at a world map, with a double purpose: 1. to go wherever the dart hits and 2. wherever we are going, we’ll have to create an opportunity for that land or for the people living there. The dart landed between the North Pole and Svalbard, a place with 2,500 humans and 3,000 polar bears, and where we quickly came to find there is darkness 24 hours/day in this time of year.

It was a remarkable bit of luck that the dart didn’t hit the ocean, or somewhere boring, or somewhere populated by cannibalistic pygmies with the munchies. Nope, these two plucky chaps managed to hit polar bear central, the perfect location for a  ‘green’ marketing campaign to persuade others to pay for their Christmas adventure:

As if that’s not bad enough….

…they’re also still looking for a travel agency to help sponsor the adventurers.

Yep. The intrepid explorers are flying commercial. Because that won’t kill a polar bear, right? Oh, wait:

..

Previous fun with explorers.

Thrill-seeking for Gaia, Part Deux

Once upon a long ago, explorers were rugged men with rugged beards and rugged intentions to wander all over the planet until they’d seen all of it. Even the really remote cold bits.

100 years ago, Roald Amundsen, a Norwegian of notorious ruggedness, led the first team to reach the South Pole. He beat Scott’s expedition to the South Pole by a month, and even left a letter for his rival in a tent:

The five men spent several days in the area, taking measurements, recording distances, and making every effort they could to ensure that they had indeed reached the South Pole and could also demonstrate as much to those who demanded proof. That task completed, they pitched a small tent alongside the flag, in which they left several items including a letter for King Haakon (which they hoped Scott could deliver in case they did not return home safely), as well as a few words for Scott, who, “I must assume will be the first to visit the place after us.”

Not content with simply toddling off to parts unknown, these great explorers actually raced each other to the most inhospitable places on Earth. And all for the adventure, the glory and the freedom to grow a rugged beard well away from the wife’s objections.

In the early 21st Century, adventuring isn’t what it used to be. For a start, there are no grand plans to conquer a remote bit of Gaia, just a dart and a world map:

We decided to spend the holidays somewhere randomly. Somewhere far away from family and friends, in a place that could offer the trip of a lifetime. And we certainly did hit the spot. Literally. We picked a destination by taking a leap of faith and throwing a dart blindfolded at a world map, with a double purpose: 1. to go wherever the dart hits and 2. wherever we are going, we’ll have to create an opportunity for that land or for the people living there. The dart landed between the North Pole and Svalbard, a place with 2,500 humans and 3,000 polar bears, and where we quickly came to find there is darkness 24 hours/day in this time of year.

It was a remarkable bit of luck that the dart didn’t hit the ocean, or somewhere boring, or somewhere populated by cannibalistic pygmies with the munchies. Nope, these two plucky chaps managed to hit polar bear central, the perfect location for a  ‘green’ marketing campaign to persuade others to pay for their Christmas adventure:

As if that’s not bad enough….

…they’re also still looking for a travel agency to help sponsor the adventurers.

Yep. The intrepid explorers are flying commercial. Because that won’t kill a polar bear, right? Oh, wait:

..

Previous fun with explorers.

Only ten days left before global warming Armageddon

A quick reminder that according to one lunatic, about 4.5 billion people aren’t go to make it to their New Year’s party, or if they get there, they won’t be going home.

That’s right, there are only 10 days left until the methane clathratepocalypse.

But don’t think it’s just lunatics writing for hobby publications who worry about daft theories, the New York Times ponders the same question:

The basic worry is that as the climate changes, the ocean temperature could rise enough to destabilize many of these offshore methane deposits, sending them into the atmosphere. If you go beyond the Arctic and count deposits that exist off the margins of all the continents, there’s probably enough methane that a rapid release could turn the earth into a hothouse.

You can follow the countdown to global warming Armageddon in the sidebar, and I posted a great gift ideas for the inevitable resulting zombie apocalypse here, though I think Amazon is out of stock. Since there are 10 only days left together, let’s have a bonus hottie.

Bo Derek was a ten, once. Those were the days.

*click*

Only ten days left before global warming Armageddon

A quick reminder that according to one lunatic, about 4.5 billion people aren’t go to make it to their New Year’s party, or if they get there, they won’t be going home.

That’s right, there are only 10 days left until the methane clathratepocalypse.

But don’t think it’s just lunatics writing for hobby publications who worry about daft theories, the New York Times ponders the same question:

The basic worry is that as the climate changes, the ocean temperature could rise enough to destabilize many of these offshore methane deposits, sending them into the atmosphere. If you go beyond the Arctic and count deposits that exist off the margins of all the continents, there’s probably enough methane that a rapid release could turn the earth into a hothouse.

You can follow the countdown to global warming Armageddon in the sidebar, and I posted a great gift ideas for the inevitable resulting zombie apocalypse here, though I think Amazon is out of stock. Since there are 10 only days left together, let’s have a bonus hottie.

Bo Derek was a ten, once. Those were the days.

*click*