How to save the world from global warming

Nuke it.  No, really:

Earth is currently in a long-term warming trend. After a regional nuclear war, though, average global temperatures would drop by 2.25 degrees F (1.25 degrees C) for two to three years afterward, the models suggest.  At the extreme, the tropics, Europe, Asia, and Alaska would cool by 5.4 to 7.2 degrees F (3 to 4 degrees C), according to the models. Parts of the Arctic and Antarctic would actually warm a bit, due to shifted wind and ocean-circulation patterns, the researchers said.

After ten years, average global temperatures would still be 0.9 degree F (0.5 degree C) lower than before the nuclear war, the models predict.

Ironically enough, director and environmental crusader James Cameron figured the solution out a while ago:

..

What’s a little Armageddon compared to saving the planet?  As Cameron also foresaw, “Game over, man, game over” (video NSFW – strong language).

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Ontarians can’t win on energy costs

Follow this series of events:

  • For decades, Ontario energy utilities charged usurious interest rates on late payments or outstanding balances.
  • In 1998, utilities were sued over their excessive late payment interest charges.
  • The Ontario Supreme Court ruled that utilities had broken the law and fined them $18 million.
  • The fine was donated to the United Way for distribution to poor families who need help paying utility bills.

So far, so good.  Utilities were properly punished for applying excessive interest rates (over 60% in some cases) to consumers who were late paying bills.  What happened next is unbelievable:

The Ontario Energy Board agreed Tuesday to let utilities raise rates to recover $18 million they paid in fines and legal costs after charging consumers excessive interest on late payments.

That’s right, utilities have been given permission to recoup the $18 million they were fined for gouging customers, from their customers.  This time however, it’s not delinquent accounts getting nailed, it’s everybody.  With a 6.2% rate raise.

Here’s the reasoning given by the Ontario Energy Board:

“To deny the utilities recovery would be to impose on their shareholders, typically the municipalities in which they operate, costs which they were compelled to incur,” the energy board wrote in its decision.  “In the board’s view, no fair-minded person, cognizant of the facts of this case could come to a different conclusion.”

Utility shareholders benefited from decades of collecting excessive interest charges from customers but now they have been caught and fined,  hapless consumers are to bail them out.  Nice work if you can get it.

The political opposition parties are calling the decision a scam, which sounds about right.

October’s elections cannot come soon enough.

(h/t to Jeff for the story tip)

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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Feb. 24th 2011

CSI: NOAA fingerprints a snowstorm, mercury causes bipolar disorder at the EPA and the world can finally buy the cardboard computer it craves.

The hippie of the week is a Aussie and the hottie of the week is a Texan.  Life doesn’t get much better than this.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

Hippie of the week is Australian politician Penny Wong.  Wong is currently Finance Minister to Julia ‘the whine’ Gillard, but was the first Aussie to hold the position of Minister for Climate Change.  You can call it the Canute file, I do.  Although Wong has had no official part of climate since her shuffle to the bean counter room, she retains an interest in advancing the global warming debate by engaging hearts and minds.  Which is why she called skeptics ‘flat-earthers‘.  Oh wait, nevermind.

Wong splits atoms. With her mind

Andrew Bolt has a comprehensive list of the people Wong thinks are stupid.  Perhaps Penny should take a look at new Aussie polling on global warming, it’s not the scam it used to be.

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

Why do greens despise the TV icons of my childhood?  First they came for David Bellamy, a man who practically lived in the undergrowth to show kids what lived there.  Now Johnny Ball is vilified by radical hippies for daring to mention that global warming might not be worth scaring the bejesus out of kids.  If hippies start picking on Gerry Anderson, this could get personal.

Gerry Anderson imagined the future, and it was good

Hippies of the world rejoice – weather is climate again.

Penny gone?  Aussie Chief scientist Sackett has quit, Simon isn’t sad.

Here’s your round-up Oscar tip.  Gasland will win Best Documentary, because Hollywood loves Gaia more than you.

California may be facing economic ruin caused in large part by ruinous green schemes, but it’s not dead enough for some people who would like to see the state use far less gas:

We suggest you take the greenhouse-gas reduction framework enshrined in your landmark 2006 legislation and substitute the word “petroleum” wherever the original text made reference to “greenhouse gases.” We believe that policy will make the state stronger economically, improve national security by making us less dependent on the oil merchants of the increasingly unstable Middle East, create fertile ground for clean-tech investments and coin the phrase “patriot state” while making California the first to earn that title.

Finally hippies can buy a green computer.  Recompute machines come in cardboard cases.  No, really.  If it makes you feel better, call it iTrash.

Good advice for recovering greens – Gaia isn’t your mother, and she’s not dying.

Oh noes, global warming causes toxic bacteria.  The List, add to it.

Global warming is failing as a mechanism to control the pesky populace so greens need a new angle for the new feudalism.  Meet Foodalism:

Even as traditional environmentalism struggles, another movement is rising in its place, aligning consumers, producers, the media and even politicians. It’s the food movement, and if it continues to grow it may be able to create just the sort of political and social transformation that environmentalists have failed to achieve in recent years. That would mean not only changing the way Americans eat and the way they farm — away from industrialized, cheap calories and toward more organic, small-scale production, with plenty of fruits and vegetables — but also altering the way we work and relate to one another. To its most ardent adherents, the food movement isn’t just about reform — it’s about revolution.

Here we go again.

Ten green ideas that are pretty much doomed.  Say goodbye to your flying car portable solar dreams.

Plane Stupid protesters are on trial in the UK for their foolish invasion of an airport.  Imagine their faces when evidence was presented that showed the gap-year hippies only increased carbon emission with the stunt.  Priceless.

The UN IPCC traveled to Hollywood to encourage movie-makers to keep pushing the global warming message in film.  The first sign green is no longer top of the glitterati agenda is that Don Cheadle is as close to A-list as they could get.

The EPA tells a tale of two mercury’s.  The mercury in thermometers is dangerous and must be regulated to protect health.  The mercury in CFL light bulbs is no problem, apparently.

Scientific American ponders why Americans resist the climate consensus, a question that is reveals more about what used to be a science paper than they realize.  Perhaps Americans just figured out that climate scientists like Michael ‘Stick’ Mann and Jim Hansen took the short bus to grad school.

Good news, the House of Windsor is hiring a new travel coordinator.  They want flights to be more green, but the carpet better stay red.

Neo-religions.  Same as the old religions, but now with 10% added dogma.

Oh noes, slightly milder weather caused by a trace gas essential to life on Earth has changed the color of owls.  When tawny owls turn brown, it’s all over.  Owlmageddon, it’s happening.

Hippies are howling about pesky developing nations who want better lives that include food and (gasp) material things.  If only poor people would know their place and just be interesting on discovery channel now and again, hippies would be so much happier.

David Suzuki is in Australia on the down-under leg of his farewell tour:

”When I tell children I grew up when there was not a TV, satellite or cell phone on the planet, they can’t believe anyone could be that old. And we lived rich interesting lives without the latest iPod.”

Watch this short video of David Suzuki living a rich, interesting life.  He may not have had the latest iPod, but it’s a reasonable guess that he may have enjoyed some iPot:

..

Raj Pachauri, the head of the IPCC gets Laframboise up in his grille for his penchant to advocate policy from a position that isn’t supposed to advocate policy.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Antarctic warming debunked and global warming scientists take another direct hit to credibility:

Nature’s original peer-review process had let through an obviously flawed paper, and no professional climate scientist then disputed  it – perhaps because of fear that doing so might harm their careers

In what world is it necessary for a state legislator to file a motion that global warming is a natural occurence?

UK retail giant and eco-bag failure Tesco is abandoning plans for solar panels on store roofs after government subsidies were reduced.  When economic reality meets green tech, there can only be one winner, as Smart cars discovered.

Alan Caruba has a go at deconstructing the global warming fraud:

I have used the words “hoax” and “fraud” interchangeably, but the latter refers to the way global warming was never about the climate and all about a handful of people becoming quite wealthy by setting up exchanges to buy and sell bogus “carbon credits” mandated by governments in order to emit CO2 in the normal process of manufacturing production and other applications.  Others have cashed in building solar and wind farms, or became producers of ethanol. None of these ventures would survive without government mandates requiring their use.

The US House of Representatives defunded the UN IPCC.  The move won’t pass the Senate, but you better believe the vote made a few green hearts flutter.  And not in the good way.

Ethical oil advocate Ezra Levant has a few words for hippies about their beloved bird shredders.

Pesky satellite data shows no warming for 13 years.  Son of sputnik is a denier, who knew?

"I'm sorry Dave, I can't warm that"

CO2 is innocent, Tim says so.  But what will hippies tax if plant food isn’t to blame for milder weather?

Jo Nova dissects the notion that after 20 years of claiming global warming causes drought, it also causes floods.

Bright flight.  California is losing educated people and entrepreneurs as it embraces eco-lunacy and economic suicide.  Renting a U-Haul from San Francisco to Austin, Texas costs over$3000 but the return costs only $300.  And U-Haul still can’t find any takers for the West-bound trip.

Uh oh, forget what I said about weather is climate.  It’s CSI-NOAA Forensic meteorology suggests man had nothing to do with snowpocalypse.

They found no evidence — no human “fingerprints” — to implicate our involvement in the snowstorms. If global warming was the culprit, the team would have expected to find a gradual increase in heavy snowstorms in the mid-Atlantic region as temperatures rose during the past century. But historical analysis revealed no such increase in snowfall. Nor did the CSI team find any indication of an upward trend in winter precipitation along the eastern seaboard.

It’s for the kids.  When UK teachers aren’t detonating moppets, they’re busy indoctrinating them.

Green jobs you can believe in.  The Obama administration invested $535 million and only lost 135 jobs.  Wait, what?

Math is hard.  Hybrids vs. regular cars – the green option can never pay for itself in gas consumption savings.  But you can still drive a Prius to feel good about yourself, if that works for you.

Junkscience has a new look and much more frequent posting.  Look, subscribe and learn.

Oh the ironing.  Green businesses are targeted by fraudsters.  Imagine Enron getting rolled in a dark alley before it could strip mine California’s economy, it’s like that.

It’s the Sun, stupid.  No, really.

The reason for wrecking California’s agriculture industry was to save the Delta Smelt, a not very useful and probably not tasty micro-fish.  After sending thousands of farms into financial ruin and devastating the region with 40% unemployment, it turns out that diverting all the fresh water to the ocean didn’t help the Smelt at all. Darwinism works – just get hippies out of the way.

Piers Corbyn prods the Met Office again, because he can.

Part Four: AGW in the News

Ask any environmentalist in Canada about the US and they will launch into a tirade about consumerism run amok, red state bible-belt gun-totin’ freedom lovin’ polluters and how ironic Seattle coffee-drinkers are.  Or something.  Then ask the same Canadian environmentalist about US cash feeding the anti-oilsands and be deafened by the silence.

Flying is bad for Gaia, unless you’re a green lobby group trying to secure your agenda.

Hippies got wood when the UK dropped plans to sell forests for cash. Meanwhile ‘street’ trees are having a hard time on the sceptr’d isle.  We’ve all seen them, sometimes we cross the street to avoid pan-handling street trees who beg for one more chance to turn a new leaf.

The ‘Jurassic coast’ is about to get new dinosaurs when a wind farm is built off the pictureque south coast.  Some day visitors will view the offshore monuments to stupid and point and laugh.

angry birds, the revenge

Treehugger gets it’s Ebert on and reviews ‘the Heretic‘, the West End play that stomped the warmist opposition in box office earnings:

Because of the way that the play has been presented, you leave thinking about greenwash, where the truth lies, how to weigh up the facts, how many facts we really don’t know and what our responsibility is to find out. It raises issues on both side of the argument: she is a skeptic amongst academics but her student hacks into a rival university’s website and discovers incriminating emails covering up research. Whether this play will last the test of time as great dramatic art remains to be seen. But it does serve as a timely, entertaining and intelligent snapshot of contemporary issues.

Aussie voters will be thrilled to learn that their government is about to pay ‘several hundred’ thousand bucks for solar panels.  The good news is it will save $9500 a year.  Given the average useful life of a PV panel is about 20 years, that means lifetime savings of nearly $200,000.  Government math at work.

Good news, it’ll only take 2% of every nations GDP to kick start a ‘green economy’.  It’s a bargain, just look at the return Obama got for only half-a-billion dollars.  Oh wait, nevermind.

Global warming means high noon for the not-OK Coral.

Aussie state broadcaster ABC is busted for bias.  I thought that was what the ‘B’ stood for, much like the BBC and CBC.  No?

Oh noes, now gardening is bad for Gaia.  Evil green-fingered terra-rists have the temerity to tear up peat bogs to use as fertilizer.  Peat bogs are carbon sinks, and warmists fear that ripping them up releases carbon.  I guess they missed the part that carbon is a good fertiziler and makes plants grow, not groan.

When even the Gray Lady notices the China =clean energy meme is false, your agenda is in trouble.

Grist wonders why green energy costs so much in California.  Jeez, who knew offering huge subsidies for inefficient power generation would affect prices.  Economics is like a dark art for hippies, they have no idea how it works.

The Daily Mail tells readers about the ‘green con’ that will cost every homeowner £300 extra per year.  The higher costs are due in large part to pay for inefficient green energy schemes.  Hey, the UK is the new California/Ontario/Spain/Italy/Germany.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

It’s a weakness, but zombie movies are a favorite of mine.  Not much is funnier than the idea of mindless reanimated bodies running around with a hankering for brains.  Hey, that reminds me of hippies, sort of.  Our hottie of the week had a small part in the very entertaining Zombieland – the only celluloid event to pair up the Facebook founder with Woody Harrelson, or something.  She’s making her first appearance on the round-up and was thoughtful enough to wear a green dress for the occasion.  Skeptics, welcome Ms. Amber Heard to the hottie ranks.

*click*

Thanks for reading.

Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Feb. 24th 2011

CSI: NOAA fingerprints a snowstorm, mercury causes bipolar disorder at the EPA and the world can finally buy the cardboard computer it craves.

The hippie of the week is a Aussie and the hottie of the week is a Texan.  Life doesn’t get much better than this.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

Hippie of the week is Australian politician Penny Wong.  Wong is currently Finance Minister to Julia ‘the whine’ Gillard, but was the first Aussie to hold the position of Minister for Climate Change.  You can call it the Canute file, I do.  Although Wong has had no official part of climate since her shuffle to the bean counter room, she retains an interest in advancing the global warming debate by engaging hearts and minds.  Which is why she called skeptics ‘flat-earthers‘.  Oh wait, nevermind.

Wong splits atoms. With her mind

Andrew Bolt has a comprehensive list of the people Wong thinks are stupid.  Perhaps Penny should take a look at new Aussie polling on global warming, it’s not the scam it used to be.

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

Why do greens despise the TV icons of my childhood?  First they came for David Bellamy, a man who practically lived in the undergrowth to show kids what lived there.  Now Johnny Ball is vilified by radical hippies for daring to mention that global warming might not be worth scaring the bejesus out of kids.  If hippies start picking on Gerry Anderson, this could get personal.

Gerry Anderson imagined the future, and it was good

Hippies of the world rejoice – weather is climate again.

Penny gone?  Aussie Chief scientist Sackett has quit, Simon isn’t sad.

Here’s your round-up Oscar tip.  Gasland will win Best Documentary, because Hollywood loves Gaia more than you.

California may be facing economic ruin caused in large part by ruinous green schemes, but it’s not dead enough for some people who would like to see the state use far less gas:

We suggest you take the greenhouse-gas reduction framework enshrined in your landmark 2006 legislation and substitute the word “petroleum” wherever the original text made reference to “greenhouse gases.” We believe that policy will make the state stronger economically, improve national security by making us less dependent on the oil merchants of the increasingly unstable Middle East, create fertile ground for clean-tech investments and coin the phrase “patriot state” while making California the first to earn that title.

Finally hippies can buy a green computer.  Recompute machines come in cardboard cases.  No, really.  If it makes you feel better, call it iTrash.

Good advice for recovering greens – Gaia isn’t your mother, and she’s not dying.

Oh noes, global warming causes toxic bacteria.  The List, add to it.

Global warming is failing as a mechanism to control the pesky populace so greens need a new angle for the new feudalism.  Meet Foodalism:

Even as traditional environmentalism struggles, another movement is rising in its place, aligning consumers, producers, the media and even politicians. It’s the food movement, and if it continues to grow it may be able to create just the sort of political and social transformation that environmentalists have failed to achieve in recent years. That would mean not only changing the way Americans eat and the way they farm — away from industrialized, cheap calories and toward more organic, small-scale production, with plenty of fruits and vegetables — but also altering the way we work and relate to one another. To its most ardent adherents, the food movement isn’t just about reform — it’s about revolution.

Here we go again.

Ten green ideas that are pretty much doomed.  Say goodbye to your flying car portable solar dreams.

Plane Stupid protesters are on trial in the UK for their foolish invasion of an airport.  Imagine their faces when evidence was presented that showed the gap-year hippies only increased carbon emission with the stunt.  Priceless.

The UN IPCC traveled to Hollywood to encourage movie-makers to keep pushing the global warming message in film.  The first sign green is no longer top of the glitterati agenda is that Don Cheadle is as close to A-list as they could get.

The EPA tells a tale of two mercury’s.  The mercury in thermometers is dangerous and must be regulated to protect health.  The mercury in CFL light bulbs is no problem, apparently.

Scientific American ponders why Americans resist the climate consensus, a question that is reveals more about what used to be a science paper than they realize.  Perhaps Americans just figured out that climate scientists like Michael ‘Stick’ Mann and Jim Hansen took the short bus to grad school.

Good news, the House of Windsor is hiring a new travel coordinator.  They want flights to be more green, but the carpet better stay red.

Neo-religions.  Same as the old religions, but now with 10% added dogma.

Oh noes, slightly milder weather caused by a trace gas essential to life on Earth has changed the color of owls.  When tawny owls turn brown, it’s all over.  Owlmageddon, it’s happening.

Hippies are howling about pesky developing nations who want better lives that include food and (gasp) material things.  If only poor people would know their place and just be interesting on discovery channel now and again, hippies would be so much happier.

David Suzuki is in Australia on the down-under leg of his farewell tour:

”When I tell children I grew up when there was not a TV, satellite or cell phone on the planet, they can’t believe anyone could be that old. And we lived rich interesting lives without the latest iPod.”

Watch this short video of David Suzuki living a rich, interesting life.  He may not have had the latest iPod, but it’s a reasonable guess that he may have enjoyed some iPot:

..

Raj Pachauri, the head of the IPCC gets Laframboise up in his grille for his penchant to advocate policy from a position that isn’t supposed to advocate policy.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Antarctic warming debunked and global warming scientists take another direct hit to credibility:

Nature’s original peer-review process had let through an obviously flawed paper, and no professional climate scientist then disputed  it – perhaps because of fear that doing so might harm their careers

In what world is it necessary for a state legislator to file a motion that global warming is a natural occurence?

UK retail giant and eco-bag failure Tesco is abandoning plans for solar panels on store roofs after government subsidies were reduced.  When economic reality meets green tech, there can only be one winner, as Smart cars discovered.

Alan Caruba has a go at deconstructing the global warming fraud:

I have used the words “hoax” and “fraud” interchangeably, but the latter refers to the way global warming was never about the climate and all about a handful of people becoming quite wealthy by setting up exchanges to buy and sell bogus “carbon credits” mandated by governments in order to emit CO2 in the normal process of manufacturing production and other applications.  Others have cashed in building solar and wind farms, or became producers of ethanol. None of these ventures would survive without government mandates requiring their use.

The US House of Representatives defunded the UN IPCC.  The move won’t pass the Senate, but you better believe the vote made a few green hearts flutter.  And not in the good way.

Ethical oil advocate Ezra Levant has a few words for hippies about their beloved bird shredders.

Pesky satellite data shows no warming for 13 years.  Son of sputnik is a denier, who knew?

"I'm sorry Dave, I can't warm that"

CO2 is innocent, Tim says so.  But what will hippies tax if plant food isn’t to blame for milder weather?

Jo Nova dissects the notion that after 20 years of claiming global warming causes drought, it also causes floods.

Bright flight.  California is losing educated people and entrepreneurs as it embraces eco-lunacy and economic suicide.  Renting a U-Haul from San Francisco to Austin, Texas costs over$3000 but the return costs only $300.  And U-Haul still can’t find any takers for the West-bound trip.

Uh oh, forget what I said about weather is climate.  It’s CSI-NOAA Forensic meteorology suggests man had nothing to do with snowpocalypse.

They found no evidence — no human “fingerprints” — to implicate our involvement in the snowstorms. If global warming was the culprit, the team would have expected to find a gradual increase in heavy snowstorms in the mid-Atlantic region as temperatures rose during the past century. But historical analysis revealed no such increase in snowfall. Nor did the CSI team find any indication of an upward trend in winter precipitation along the eastern seaboard.

It’s for the kids.  When UK teachers aren’t detonating moppets, they’re busy indoctrinating them.

Green jobs you can believe in.  The Obama administration invested $535 million and only lost 135 jobs.  Wait, what?

Math is hard.  Hybrids vs. regular cars – the green option can never pay for itself in gas consumption savings.  But you can still drive a Prius to feel good about yourself, if that works for you.

Junkscience has a new look and much more frequent posting.  Look, subscribe and learn.

Oh the ironing.  Green businesses are targeted by fraudsters.  Imagine Enron getting rolled in a dark alley before it could strip mine California’s economy, it’s like that.

It’s the Sun, stupid.  No, really.

The reason for wrecking California’s agriculture industry was to save the Delta Smelt, a not very useful and probably not tasty micro-fish.  After sending thousands of farms into financial ruin and devastating the region with 40% unemployment, it turns out that diverting all the fresh water to the ocean didn’t help the Smelt at all. Darwinism works – just get hippies out of the way.

Piers Corbyn prods the Met Office again, because he can.

Part Four: AGW in the News

Ask any environmentalist in Canada about the US and they will launch into a tirade about consumerism run amok, red state bible-belt gun-totin’ freedom lovin’ polluters and how ironic Seattle coffee-drinkers are.  Or something.  Then ask the same Canadian environmentalist about US cash feeding the anti-oilsands and be deafened by the silence.

Flying is bad for Gaia, unless you’re a green lobby group trying to secure your agenda.

Hippies got wood when the UK dropped plans to sell forests for cash. Meanwhile ‘street’ trees are having a hard time on the sceptr’d isle.  We’ve all seen them, sometimes we cross the street to avoid pan-handling street trees who beg for one more chance to turn a new leaf.

The ‘Jurassic coast’ is about to get new dinosaurs when a wind farm is built off the pictureque south coast.  Some day visitors will view the offshore monuments to stupid and point and laugh.

angry birds, the revenge

Treehugger gets it’s Ebert on and reviews ‘the Heretic‘, the West End play that stomped the warmist opposition in box office earnings:

Because of the way that the play has been presented, you leave thinking about greenwash, where the truth lies, how to weigh up the facts, how many facts we really don’t know and what our responsibility is to find out. It raises issues on both side of the argument: she is a skeptic amongst academics but her student hacks into a rival university’s website and discovers incriminating emails covering up research. Whether this play will last the test of time as great dramatic art remains to be seen. But it does serve as a timely, entertaining and intelligent snapshot of contemporary issues.

Aussie voters will be thrilled to learn that their government is about to pay ‘several hundred’ thousand bucks for solar panels.  The good news is it will save $9500 a year.  Given the average useful life of a PV panel is about 20 years, that means lifetime savings of nearly $200,000.  Government math at work.

Good news, it’ll only take 2% of every nations GDP to kick start a ‘green economy’.  It’s a bargain, just look at the return Obama got for only half-a-billion dollars.  Oh wait, nevermind.

Global warming means high noon for the not-OK Coral.

Aussie state broadcaster ABC is busted for bias.  I thought that was what the ‘B’ stood for, much like the BBC and CBC.  No?

Oh noes, now gardening is bad for Gaia.  Evil green-fingered terra-rists have the temerity to tear up peat bogs to use as fertilizer.  Peat bogs are carbon sinks, and warmists fear that ripping them up releases carbon.  I guess they missed the part that carbon is a good fertiziler and makes plants grow, not groan.

When even the Gray Lady notices the China =clean energy meme is false, your agenda is in trouble.

Grist wonders why green energy costs so much in California.  Jeez, who knew offering huge subsidies for inefficient power generation would affect prices.  Economics is like a dark art for hippies, they have no idea how it works.

The Daily Mail tells readers about the ‘green con’ that will cost every homeowner £300 extra per year.  The higher costs are due in large part to pay for inefficient green energy schemes.  Hey, the UK is the new California/Ontario/Spain/Italy/Germany.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

It’s a weakness, but zombie movies are a favorite of mine.  Not much is funnier than the idea of mindless reanimated bodies running around with a hankering for brains.  Hey, that reminds me of hippies, sort of.  Our hottie of the week had a small part in the very entertaining Zombieland – the only celluloid event to pair up the Facebook founder with Woody Harrelson, or something.  She’s making her first appearance on the round-up and was thoughtful enough to wear a green dress for the occasion.  Skeptics, welcome Ms. Amber Heard to the hottie ranks.

*click*

Thanks for reading.

Astroturf goes green side up

George Monbiot is concerned about ‘astroturf’, the name he gives to fake grassroots support for various things he disapproves of:

Software like this [Persona] has the potential to destroy the internet as a forum for constructive debate. It jeopardizes the notion of online democracy. Comment threads on issues with major commercial implications are already being wrecked by what look like armies of organised trolls – as you can sometimes see on guardian.co.uk.  The internet is a wonderful gift, but it’s also a bonanza for corporate lobbyists, viral marketers and government spin doctors, who can operate in cyberspace without regulation, accountability or fear of detection. So let me repeat the question I’ve put in previous articles, and which has yet to be satisfactorily answered: what should we do to fight these tactics?

George believes the Guardian is flooded with computer-generated negative comments on his global warming stories because it doesn’t fit his worldview that he might not be correct about everything, all the time.  In his world, there is no way that many people could disagree with his wisdom, so it must be the Big Oil funded denier machine using evil computer programs to emulate skeptics.

Unfortunately for George, the threat of astroturf is real.  But it’s being employed not by skeptics, but greens.  Take a recent New York state initiative to ask if people would support its Climate Action Plan.  The state received 1700 replies, of which we are told only two claimed global warming was a hoax.  As for the rest:

Those who support action against climate change flooded the comments, with six different identically worded letters offered by environmental groups to their members accounting for more 1,000 comments.

Astroturf, it’s not green by mistake.

It’s time to support George Monbiot and bring an end to astroturf campaigns.  Or are the rules different for hippies?

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No frakkin way

Remember that day in your past life at school when the cool girl looked your way and smiled?

Yeah, me either.  Until now.

Thanks to Donna for the nice review, but more so for her tireless work debunking global warming agenda and the people who peddle it.  Case in point, this delicious deconstruction of ‘Weepy’ Bill McKibben:

In McKibben’s world “we have no choice if we want a habitable planet” but to turn our backs on fossil fuels and embrace the far more costly energy produced by solar panels and windmills. In his universe “adaptation to rapid [climate] change is all but impossible” despite our ever increasing affluence and ever more wondrous technology. In his drama queen assessment “we’re literally playing with fire” and widespread civil disobedience is an appropriate response. Oh, and the “most important number in the world” is 350 (as in parts per million) – which just happens to be the name of the activist organization he himself has founded – 350.org.

There’s a lot more just like that at NFC, you should add it to your regular reading.

For those new to the Bayonet, you can find my path to skepticism here.  As Donna noted in her review, global warming isn’t technically a hoax, but using the h-word adds a little zest to the title of the weekly round-up and, bonus, drives hippies nuts.  So ‘hoax’ stays.

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Plastic bags are green after all

Plastic shopping bags are more eco-friendly than paper or reuseable bags.  No, really:

It [a draft report for the Environment Agency] found that an HDPE plastic bag would have a baseline global warming potential of 1.57 kg Co2 equivalent, falling to 1.4 kg Co2e if re-used once, the same as a paper bag used four times (1.38 kg Co2e). A cotton bag would have to be re-used 171 times to emit a similar level, 1.57 kg Co2e.

The cotton bags are re-used on average about 20 times, which means that plastic does better than the eco-bags.  Another useful feature of plastic bags is that they won’t kill you by poisoning your groceries or from lead content.

One of the drivers behind the demonization of plastic bags was the Pacific plastic island of doom, but we recently discovered that green myth is busted.  Now we learn that plastic is less harmful to Gaia than the eco-alternatives paper and cotton.  Even the EPA admits the equation between paper and plastic is not as simple as green activists would have you believe:

  • Plastic bags were first introduced in 1977 and now account for four out of every five bags handed out at grocery stores.
  • Paper sacks generate 70 percent more air and 50 times more water pollutants than plastic bags.
  • Paper bags are made from trees, which are a renewable resource. Most plastic bags are made from polyethylene, which is made from crude oil and natural gas, nonrenewable resources.
  • 2000 plastic bags weigh 30 pounds, 2000 paper bags weigh 280 pounds. The latter takes up a lot more landfill space.
  • It takes 91 percent less energy to recycle a pound of plastic than it takes to recycle a pound of paper. It takes more than four times as much energy to manufacture a paper bag as it does to manufacture a plastic bag. Energy to produce the bags (in British thermal units): Safeway plastic bags: 594 BTU; Safeway paper bags: 2511 BTU.
  • Paper is accepted in most recycling programs while the recycling rate for plastic bags is very low. Research from 2000 shows 20 percent of paper bags were recycled, while one percent of plastic bags were recycled.
  • Current research demonstrates that paper in today’s landfills does not degrade or break down at a substantially faster rate than plastic does. In fact, nothing completely degrades in modern landfills due to the lack of water, light, oxygen, and other important elements that are necessary for the degradation process to be completed.
  • Incineration can decrease the quantity of plastic and paper bags. However, incineration causes air pollution and creates ash which has to be landfilled.

Perhaps Ontario’s government run liquor stores will give us back plastic bags and get out of the advocacy business.

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Green Math: Part 3

Ontario’s green energy numbers don’t add up:

Wholesale Average Weighted Cost (YTD) of Ontario electricity: 3.35 cents/kWh

Guaranteed 20-year contract price per kWh for solar panels (ground level): 64.2 cents/kWh

Guaranteed 20-year contract price per kWh for solar panels (roof-top): 80.2 cents/kWh

Guaranteed 20-year contract price per kWh for wind turbines: 13.5 cents/kWh

(link to microFIT rates, pdf)

Cost to the province in 2011 to reduce bills by 10% to hide increases caused by green energy programs until after the election: $1.1 billion

Ontario has promised to pay renewable energy producers up to 23 times the actual price for electricity which is the driver for increased bills and time-of-use billing.  At risk of belaboring a point, sustainable subsidies are not sustainable.  Premier Dalton McGuinty has pulled the plug on offshore wind projects – it’s time to end the FIT programs before they bankrupt us.

The opposition understands math, even if Dalton doesn’t.

Prior fun with numbers:

Green Math 1

Green Math 2

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Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, Feb. 17 2011

Greenpeace hippies are going to jail, Al Gore gets to inspect the underside of a bus and the Dutch want to glow in the dark.

All this explained and a hottie too.  You’re welcome.

Part One: Hippie of the Week

Hippie of the week is Mark Hertsgaard.  Hertsgaard is a man who believes his daughter will be very thirsty in the future and happens to have a book to sell, so he turned into Michael Moore lite and hijacked Senator Inhofe with daft questions about global warming.  It’s not a fair fight, which is why the full 5 minutes is featured on Inhofe’s YouTube channel but only 2 minutes is on Hertsgaards.

Even other warmists cringed at the lame name calling and gotcha videos, and you can see why for yourself:

..

Part Two: Warmists & Scaremongers

Al Gore and the UEA motley CRU were tossed under the bus by Berkeley prof Richard Muller:

“There are the exaggerators, like Al Gore and Tom Friedman who tell you things that are not part of the consensus … (which) goes largely off of thermometer records.” Some scientists who fear that their results will be misinterpreted as proof that global warming is not urgent, such as in the case of Climategate, fall into a similar trap of exaggeration.

When you’ve lost Berkeley, you’ve pretty much lost.

Who will save the children?  Not from global warming, but from lunatic parents who think the Earth is melting.  Mark Hertsgaard uses his daughter as emo-ammo in his fight against ‘climate cranks’, now HuffAOLPo’s Richard Wiles is fretting about lying to his kids when he tells them everything will be alright. If Wiles had been a good warmist he would have avoided breeding altogether and presto – no problem.

German warmists are alarmed, but more about waning support for the global warming hoax than actual global warming.  Their answer is to study skeptics tactics, which is their first mistake.  It’s not the marketing, it’s the product.  Global warming was shown to be baloney thanks to the IPCC and Climategate, the Germans can polish the turd all they like, but it’s still a turd.

Welcome to the great green life where light bulbs are dim, toilets are clogged and dishes won’t gleam.

greens hate feminists, it's the only explanation

Oh noes, food prices are rising because of global warming.  Ethanol has nothing to do with it – industry groups say so, therefore it must be true.

The Lush empire boss wants to fund cops to stop rural crime, even as he funds eco-terrorists.  NIMBY, much?

Australian PM Gillard promised the nation last August that she’d never implement a carbon tax.  Unfortunately there must have been a teleprompter malfunction because she forgot to finish that thought with ‘until July 1st 2012‘.  Unless she lied, but that can’t be it.

The University of Arizona warns of sea-level rise caused by global warming.  Before investing in some AZ beach front property, consider the source’s credibility first.

Good news, the ever impartial BBC equates climate skeptics with pedophiles, racism and homophobia.

The lesser spotted alarmist Newt may be endangered, even extinct by 2012.

Citibank went full scaremonger by hiring American Council on Renewable Energy head Michael Eckhart as leader for Citigroup’s environmental strategy desk.

Odd goings-on at NASA GISS where an inconvenient graph became suddenly unreadable, before being restored when it was noticed by a skeptic blog.

Joltin’ Joe Romm is shocked, shocked to see young CPAC attendees tossing eggs at images of Al Gore and Michael ‘Stick’ Mann, of whom Romm says:

…two much-vindicated climate hawks whose only crime is trying to provide accurate information to the public and policymakers in an effort to preserve a livable climate for the next generation…

Mann & Gore providers of accurate information.  I’m waiting for the punchline.

Oh noes, tipping points, last chances and global warming is an epidemic.  Scandimonger Erik Rasmussen covers all the bases.  Technically, global warming would be a pandemic, not an epidemic.  Rasmussen can correct his error and up the stakes at the same time.  Win!

Skeptical Science vs. Popular Technology in a comment/post flame war about Google Scholar.  It’s more entertaining than it sounds.  No, really.

Weepy Bill McKibben receives a swift kick to the nuts from Donna Laframboise.

Let me get this straight. We’re supposed to pay attention to your views about global warming even though you have no scientific training whatsoever. Yet when someone who possesses both scientific training and science policy expertise wants to talk about these same issues, you imply that because he isn’t a hurricane, soil, or ice scientist he doesn’t deserve a platform.

Donna then turns her attention to the broken, bleeding IPCC whom she has demolished over recent weeks, but Minx the Merciless knows no, err, mercy:

…we’re left with the uneasy feeling that a full 13 years before the IPCC was even born its first chairman had already decided that fossil fuels didn’t merely affect the climate, but that the affect was so adverse their use would need to be curtailed.

In California, high tides are proof of global warming, or something.

The Sierra Club, fisked.

In 20 days the 2011 Catlin Arctic Survey will land on the ice (if they can find any).  How many days until we learn of the dramatic rescue of the 2011 Catlin Arctic Survey is uncertain.

Hippies heading to jail is always a favorite and to make this one especially fun is the Greenpeace angst that breaking the law, climbing things that don’t belong to you and crashing events without proper credentials results in (gasp) consequences:

Outrage and astonishment: those are the words that came to my mind when I learned of the trial. How can it be that in a democratic country, at the heart of Europe, citizens and NGOs are increasingly facing prosecution because they take an active role in society? How can we bear witness and expose environmental issues if our core values – nonviolent direct action, creative confrontation – are under threat?

And even if acquitted in this case, the prosecution of peaceful activists does potentially have serious consequences. Citizens who wish to speak out get scared away by the judicial aftermath of a peaceful action, and organisations like Greenpeace are criminalised and thrown on a pile together with terrorists.

More popcorn, please.

Oh noes, global warming may ‘re-route’ evolution.  Add it to The List. I, for one, welcome our Delta Smelt overlords.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

Rethinking wind power – in the UK ‘inefficient’ wind farms face the axe, in Ontario offshore turbines are scrapped.

How Texas lost power in the midst of a cold spell:

It seems that a great deal of natural gas got “stuck in the pipes” because there was not enough electricity to operate the pumps to move it along. And there was not enough electricity to operate the pumps because environmentalists had seen to it that plans for new coal-powered generating plants had been shuttered back in 2007. So without the coal, there was no electricity, and without the electricity, there was no natural gas. And since much of the natural gas was intended to supply electrical power generating plants, there was even less electricity to supply the pumps and everything else.

Sophialabertina has a lot more on the very cold Texan winter.

Since governments banned incandescent light bulbs we’ve faced the perils of mercury in our homes.  Then we are to be saved from the toxic CFL’s by LED light bulbs.  Oh, wait, nevermind:

…light-emitting diodes marketed as safe, environmentally preferable alternatives to traditional lightbulbs actually contain lead, arsenic and a dozen other potentially hazardous substances, according to newly published research.

Oh noes, don’t tell AL Gore, but global warming does not cause weirder weather.  More on this hippie buzzkill here.

Washington battle lines are being drawn around the EPA’s plan to regulate CO2.  The GOP aims to defund that idea.

Green is no longer attractive for those who manage green – big money is running fast from green projects as governments suddenly realize the true cost of subsidizing giant bird shredders and solar panels:

The key to long-term economic success now appears to be safely premised once again on solid market innovation, not ideologically driven government subsidies; such subsidized ventures have a long and notorious history as lame duck enterprises. It seems ‘green renewables’ has become the latest of these white elephants.

Another sign that green tech is in trouble is the shift in reasons to support it.  No longer is it about saving Gaia from greenhouse gas, it’s about jobs.  Next time you see this from a politician, remind them how Spain discovered the truth about green energy and jobs.

New Brunswick woke up to discover it’s shiny new $200 million wind farm was frozen solid.  The local avian community was happy, even if no-one else was.

Good news for Aussie families – it’s only going to cost them $2000 to save a 1oooth of a degree.

Hippies everywhere are tearing their dreads out at news about another pesky species saving itself from global warming armageddon.  Frogs, it seems, are recovering just fine.

smug frog is smug

Awkward moments for the Bureau of Meteorology as a formal audit of its temperature records is demanded.  Do shredders cause global warming?  Just askin’.

Green on green action – the American Wind Energy Association versus the American Bird Conservancy face off in a cage match over how many birds are blended for green power:

It [ABC] added the wind industry should be subject to mandatory standards like the other energy industries. “Wind energy has the potential to be very green, but it is only smart if it is bird smart. That means the wind industry needs to put turbines where there aren’t high concentrations of birds, adopt existing technology to reduce bird mortality, mitigate unavoidable bird mortality and compensate for lost habitat”, the organization added.

Green energy treated like evil fossil fuels.  Oh the ironing.

Fun with correlation = causation.  US debt causes global warming.

Global warming is caused by a trace gas essential to life on Earth, because warmists can’t think of anything else.  No, really.

Global warming melts permafrost, which causes global warming, which… oh you get it.  Turns out Henry Waxman was right, all that tundra was held down by ice, or something.  Will flying tundra affect the Catlin adventurers?

The EPA has about ten reasons for regulating CO2, the ATI has about ten reason the EPA is wrong.  Coincidence?

Part Four: AGW in the News

Ontario faces a future with too little power at too high a cost.  Thanks, Green Energy Act.

Rare earth minerals are in high demand for green and hi-tech.  Pity about the environmental disaster areas where the rare earths are mined.

The UK decides that worries about de-industrialization trump imminent planetary melt-down.  Unless all the hype about warming was just hot air, that is.

The EPA has a target on its back.  Can we say that yet?

Wind power is an idea so beloved that governments are forced to bribe communities to accept it.  Wait, what?

How many Eurohippies popped their clogs at the news the Dutch are spurning renewables to build nukes?

The BBC continues the meme that it you’re a skeptic then you must be nuts.

A US Congressman wants to defund the UN IPCC:

U.S. Rep. Blaine Luetkemeyer (MO-9) today reintroduced legislation that would save taxpayers millions of dollars by prohibiting the United States from contributing to the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), an organization fraught with waste and engaged in dubious science.

Oh noes, hippies lose jobs as the Carbon Trust loses 40% of its funding.  It’s almost as if real problems are becoming more important than fake, feelgood initiatives.  Who could have seen that coming?

American law makers can attack their lunches with proper cutlery again as biodegradable Pelosi-ware is scrapped.

People want their incandescent light bulbs back, and now.

West-End win for skeptics as the battle of the warmist vs. skeptic plays is a box office blow out in favor of the deniers.

Liberal bias in science?  Say it ain’t so. The comments are a riot, starting with this one and heading downhill in a hurry:

…of course academics lean left-liberal, that’s because liberalism is fundamentally based on free-thinking, whilst conservatism is fundamentally based on blindly doing what you’re told

The President of the Union of Concerned Scientists calls the GOP ‘closed eyed’ to climate science.  The Union of Relaxed Scientists made no comment.

US ecogroups are infiltrating Canadian politics to attack those that support Canadian oil sands development.

Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty claims the reversal of offshore wind development has nothing to do with the coming fall election.  Also unrelated to the election is the billion dollar bribe to hide the rising cost of power.  Right.

Mo’ nukes, mo’ nukes, mo’ nukes.  The thorium kind, please:

It can’t melt down, it makes only minimal waste, and it can’t be used for making bombs. It doesn’t even use uranium, which is rare and dangerous to handle; it uses thorium instead, which is common and safer to work with.

Weather is climate again – global warming causes floods just as surely as a press release causes a Louise Gray column.

Intrepid explorers plan to drive from Russia to Canada over the Arctic.  Which can only mean that awareness needs raising.

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Part Five: Global Hottie

The Dutch want nukes, which makes the choice of a Netherlander hottie a no brainer.  She was a mutant in the X-Men, but let’s not hold that against a hottie who makes her round-up debut today.  Say Heineken to your global hottie, Ms. Famke Janssen.

*click*

Thanks for reading.

Decoding global warming stories

A handy cut-out and keep guide to phrases frequently used in global warming news stories, and what they really mean:

“since records began”  –  since 1850 if using observed data, or about 1980 if using satellite data

“might, may, could, perhaps”  –  we can say anything is happening if we put enough modifiers in front of it

“experts say”  –  (a) we’re an NGO in need of funding or (b) I’m a scientist in need of funding

“science is settled”  –  stop asking questions, we know better than you skeptics/deniers/cranks/scary people

“consensus of scientists”  –  the wisdom of crowds is all we have left, so SHUT UP

“CO2 pollution”  –  your high school science teacher lied about CO2 being plant food

“increasing global population”  –  pesky developing nations are demanding cars and appliances. The horror.

“sustainable development”  –  subsidies now, or the planet gets it

“raising awareness”  –  hippies doing something daring or stupid for attention

“cooling caused by warming”  –   hey, you believed everything else we said, why stop now?

Round-up tomorrow, and enjoy bonus midweek hottie – Christina Ricci.

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Is it Wednesday? Corset is.