Global Warming Hoax Weekly Round-Up, April 29th 2010

Al Gore has a modest new home in California, because every eco-cult leader needs a mansion on each coast.   Australia’s government dropped emissions trading like a hot rock because the ‘climate crisis’ can wait until after the pesky election, and CNN emulates ancient cultures and is fearful of a vengeful planet.

This week’s round-up is a bit of a monster edition, so the hottie is the world’s sexiest woman.  It seemed only fair.

Part One: Al Gore & Friends

Al Gore loves the planet so much he has dedicated his earning potential life to the cause.  He’s so in love with the Earth that it’s almost as if he wants to visit all of it, in one week:

April 30, 2010–Philippines
April 29, 2010–Johannesburg, South Africa
April 27, 2010–New York (afternoon)
April 27, 2010–Chicago (morning)
April 26, 2010–Denver
April 24, 2010–Italy
April 22, 2010–Montreal

His New York trip was almost a Gore Effect day, it was cold but the snow held off.

Al won a big payday in court this week, when a fine of $588 was reversed on appeal.  The original fine was for unfair use of a photograph his Current TV used without permission.  I was intending to be all snarky and critical of Gore for fighting over a few hundred dollars, but what I didn’t know was he needed the cash for his new California home.  Al and Tipper dropped $8,875,000 for an ocean-view villa with a swimming pool, spa and fountains.  So, that $588 will come in handy when Tipper starts shopping for new drapes.

The Goreacle lashed out at the media, calling articles skeptical of the global warming hoax ‘ridiculous’.  Without any sense of irony, Al later blogged and blagged emo-Joe Romm’s ‘important’ new book, which made Romm go ‘squeeee’, or something.

It wasn’t all easy riding for the global warming profiteer prophet, The Foundry discovered some awkward math when assessing the real costs of Al’s preferred Repowering America plans:

…to meet Al Gore’s plan, with the cheapest renewable energy source, onshore wind, a family of four’s electricity bill would be almost double than if it were supplied by all coal – up from $189 a month to $340 a month. He assured Americans that we can use wind, solar and geothermal to power America. But the price only increases. Offshore wind: $404 a month. Solar thermal: $504 a month and worst of all, solar panels: $718 a month. That’s only $8,600 per family per year to cover our earth with solar panels.

Oddly, when Al wrote about coal’s dirty secrets, the fact that it only costs half of wind power never came up.  Don’t hold your breath waiting for Al’s thoughts on the dirty secrets of his favorite renewable, ethanol.

An ABC commenter pondered the idea of Al Gore being nominated to the Supreme Court, which is frankly both terrifying and hilarious.  But mostly hilarious.  The Supremes don’t earn enough to attract an A-lister like Al.

Suzuki circa 1970: 'In 40 years I'll be a total failure'

Canada’s perennial hippie and preachy irritant David Suzuki is a scientist, allegedly:

Suzuki believes the broader public still understands the urgent need for action because of the “in your face” impacts of climate change, like extreme weather, wildfires and melting polar ice.

“Canada is the most vulnerable to climate change of any of the industrialized countries,” Suzuki said.  [he] won’t predict whether the warming problem will be solved in the next 40 years.  He and others once believed the 1990s had to be the turnaround decade.  “It’s 20 years later and we’re still fighting the battles,” he said.

“The direction we’re heading is catastrophic. This is not going to be easy. But the important thing is to get started.”

The daft old hippie has devoted his life to a lost cause and the important thing is to get started?  Pardon me, but Epic Fail, no?

Part Two: AGW Scaremongers

A US Democrat finally finds an enemy he can fight, climate change is a national security issue.  Remember, as the warmists rush to replace oil, only one place on the planet has enough rare earth metals to make all the shiny new batteries that new green technologies need… and it happens to be a Communist giant that owns a large swathe of US debt.  What could possibly go wrong?

emo-Joe Romm interviewed Van Jones for Earth Day:

And there’s going to be the opportunity for regular people to get real actual benefits—to get refunds. People are like, “oh, I’m scared of this energy bill because it’s going to make my energy bill go up,” but there’s a way you can actually get a refund on your energy bill and actually wind up with more money in your pocket if you make your home more energy efficient.

Jones, a fired Marxist doesn’t  actually say whose pocket the ‘refunds’ will be coming from, but if you have a job in America, it’s probably yours.

Sigourney Weaver, a famous scientist actor wants to save the oceans.  Her argument might have been better received had she been driving a loader at the hearing:

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Warmists used Earth Day to recruit children to the totalitarian cause by telling them how to bully their families into going green, and promoting the book that led to a genocide.  Have a nice day, kids.

Embrace a future where the economy is run by climate scientists, and despair.

Michael ‘Stick’ Mann might be busy suing the world over a parody, but he has some real problems with his data that he won’t be able to sue away.  meanwhile, Morano has fun at Mann’s expense.

James Cameron continues his quest to be the most irritating Hollywood ecotard and piles on the Alberta oil sands.  He thinks that wind can replace the energy provided by the oilsands, which tells you just about everything you needed to know about Cameron.  It’s math, Jim, but not as you know it.

Oh noes, it’s time to be afraid of a deadly airborne fungus… caused by global warming.  Doomed, we’re all doomed.

The US Senate’s cap and bend-over Bill is off.  No, wait, it’s on.  Greenpeace is for it and against it, which is helpful.

David Attenborough, the naturalist, penned an doom-laden introduction to a new book called Silent Summer.  What a great title, because Silent Spring worked out so well for humanity.  The BBC, the network that produces most of Attenborough’s work showed its own commitment to green by only sending executives on 68,000 flights in two years.  Which seems like an appropriate time to give Indiana Jones a pat on the back:

[Harrison] Ford spoke on Capitol Hill on Tuesday about general aviation at an event sponsored by the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association. In reference to his environmental detractors who criticize his ownership of seven airplanes, CNSNews.com asked Ford if his green activism coupled with his flying was a “contradiction.”

Ford said, “They’re quite right. I’ll start walking everywhere when they start walking everywhere.”

Al Gore wasn’t the only green campaigner to get a new home this week, as Gisele Bundchen, the private-jet owning UN environment advocate is building a 20,000 sq.ft eco-hovel in California.  See how easy it is to be green, just follow the leader’s examples and the planet will be fine.

the kids wear lifevests for when Gisele's new house floods the world

Celebrity eco-hypocrisy knows no boundaries, as Sting, the coal crusader of the 1980’s decides that black stuff is actually quite icky for the planet and skeptics are crazy.

Brooke Shields is upset at reports that global warming might not exist, but she has a cast iron scientific rationale for her belief:

I don’t know what is true or not, I only know what I can do on a daily basis because I believe in it. Whether I am turning the water off in between brushing my teeth, which my little daughter is the police of, or I am recycling, or switching my products or using an energy saving washing machine…”

European hard-line ecoterrorists planned to blow up IBM, but were caught before they could kill anyone, fortunately.  For some reason, the media hasn’t blamed this almost-tragedy on Greenpeace, Al Gore, the WWF and all green activists.  But the Tea Party is dangerous, right?

A grass mask?  This is a joke, right?  Right?

Richard Branson, the F1 race-team, airline and space-tourism owning green hypocrite has been caught manipulating fare prices.  There’s something about being green that attracts the scum-bags.  It must be the green.

Alarmist Mike Sandler suggests that ‘deniers’ are polluting the blogosphere.  Huh?  Sanders thinks that to say ‘climate is always changing’ is junk science, but it’s blogs like this that ‘pollute’.   Maybe he doesn’t appreciate all the new skeptics?

The US Government has discovered that global warming causes mental illness.  One look at the gullible hippies that believe in it should have been a clue, but if you need a real example, here comes Chuck.

Part Three: Inconvenient Truths

The IPCC broke its own rules when it used one report 25 times.  Perhaps there weren’t any press releases available for those chapters?  Read both pieces, Donna Laframboise has been on fire pulling AR4 to bits, work the media are not interested in, but should be.

How many giant bird-shredders does it take to power NASA’s new 56,832-core, 128-screen supercomputer?

Finally skeptics have found a way to make greens deny that peer-review is important, 700 peer-reviewed papers that are skeptical of global warming.

Iceland’s unpronounceable volcano proved that man can’t affect the global climate.

Biofuels are four times worse for the environment than regular fuels.  The EU tried to bury that report, I wonder why?

Spain and Germany, the brave new world of eco-friendly energy, suffer mightily as reality bites:

Government subsidies for solar energy in Germany have reached absurd proportions, as ordinary consumers pay out billions to support solar power. Now plans to reduce the subsidies are encountering massive resistance from the industry and a number of German states, which benefit from the current arrangement.

Electric cars, not as green as you might think, oddly.

Green gone wild, residents in the UK are told to sort their trash into nine separate bins.  In Canada, we sort the trash then haul it huge distances in carbon-spewing trucks. Penn & Teller were right.

The IPCC has another error, the disappearing Bangladesh coast, isn’t. More on the mangrove mishaps here.

Shockah!  A green technology being sold to homeowners with greatly exaggerated claims of its efficiency?  Why is this a problem when the lies are told to homeowners, but not to entire populations?

Oh noes, Arctic exploration is threatened.  By cooling. Awkward.  Also, why is it only warmists who need rescuing from themselves?

Dude, where’s the O2?

Isn’t calling Carbon Dioxide “Carbon” like calling water “Hydrogen”? Actually its worse then that, water is 2/3 Hydrogen, CO2 is only 1/3 Carbon. What Happened to the Oxygen molecules? Where’s the “Dioxide”?

One sure sign of a warming planet is when Napa wine growers need to spend a fortune on frost control in April.  Wait, what?

Ethics, smethics.  Obama appointed Assistant Secretary of Energy Cathy Zoi, and it turns out that she is a person well placed to help herself and Al Gore:

…disclosure documents show that Zoi not only is in a position to affect the fortunes of her previous employer, ex-Vice President Al Gore, but that she herself has large holdings in two firms that could directly profit from policies proposed by the Department of Energy.

Carbon capture, a moonbat pipedream, suffered a huge blow when it was discovered that the space required for such projects had been greatly underestimated.  Which is awkward, because computer models were used to predict the space needed.  Computer can be models mistaken?  Say it ain’t so. 

But it is – Source code is the source of global warming hysteria:

It seems the approach of the Apostles of Global Warming is what many of us have suspected for years: where there is no data, make it up; where there is contradictory data, massage it out or ignore it; if the data happens to fit the hypothesis, by all means use it.

CO2 is not pollution, explained.

Urban Heat Island effect, it’s real.  UHI is the only warming that scaremongers consistently dismiss, apart from the medieval warming period and any other inconvenient truths that prove their claims are pure hoax.

Evil climate delayers have doomed Australian children and grandchildren to a dry, ghastly death by killing off the ETS.  Oh, wait, the government killed it? Unpopular, you say?  In an election year?  But, wasn’t global warming “the great moral and economic challenge of our time“?

NASA went wobbly on the certainty of global warming.  Perhaps it was that new computer?

New Zealand has its own version of climategate going on, cutely called ‘Kiwigate’.

Warmists like to claim that malaria is a global warming disease.  It’s not, and the only reason that so many die from it is because the greens hate DDT.  And African children.

The UN, not following its own advice on environmental stewardship or processes.

Part Four: AGW in the News

US media networks are guilty of hiding the decline.  In climate science credibility, that is.

CNN demonstrates its own credibility on science, asking if the recent earthquakes and volcano’s is the planet ‘striking back’.  A vengeful Gaia, are these journalists or ancient Mayans?

USA Today requests more government, because there’s no such thing as too much regulation, just ask California’s kids.

Last week the fear was that salt used on British roads over the winter would kill trees.  This week, the same salt is going to cause an explosion of Danish scurvy grass.  Make your predictions of what else road salt can do, there seems to be no end to its uses.

Journalists as global warming activists.  You’re not surprised, right?

A Texan talks sense on scaremongering:

I consider myself an environmentalist, but having extensively studied the issues I haven’t found any evidence that the sky is falling, oceans are rising, polar bears are sweating or that carbon dioxide is a polluting menace.

Offset this, hippies.  Carbon offsets ease guilt, but that’s all. Oh, and make Al even richer, of course.

Did an asteroid kill the dinosaurs, or was it colder temperatures?

The oddest headline ever?  ‘Too many skeptics in the BBC climate change reporting’.

How do the Chinese solve a stinky garbage problem?  Nuke it with perfume bombs.  It beats sorting it into nine bins.

Midway plastic pollution, and the movie edition.

Canada’s government has underestimated the costs of new pollution standards.  Its now common practice for all governments to do this, if they were honest about the cost of green nonsense, they’d all lose their jobs.  Next time you see a projected cost, double it.  At least.

Will the US or Canada build the first North American offshore wind farm?  It’s a race to the bottom.

We’re saved!  Whale crap to the rescue.  No, really.

be thankful they do it under the surface

Meet the future method of disposing of bodies for when Gaia finally kills you off.  It’s a washing machine, sort of.

Ecotard and explorer Pen Hadow witnessed a three minute rainfall in the Arctic and declares it ‘a sign’.  An odd comment from one of the team:

“I think we were disappointed. Rain isn’t something you expect in the Arctic and a lot of us came up here to be away from that kind of weather,”

What, did you think they were there for a good reason?

Al Gore claimed that melting ice would make the oceans rise.  And he was right, but he was off by how much.  The inconvenient truth is that seas would rise ‘a hair’s breadth’.  Is that less than 20ft?

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Part Five: Global Hottie

Cheryl Cole has been voted the world’s sexiest woman.  Since the only honor greater than that is to be a global hottie, who am I to deny her dreams?  Skeptics, I present Ms Coles’ debut hottie appearance.

click

Thanks for reading.

The never ending river of IPCC’s lies

And the never ending story of exposing IPCC’s lies continues. This one from Bangladesh and Dhaka-based Center for Environment and Geographic Information Services (CEGIS).

Yet AGAIN IPCC and their “scientists” “forgot” a very crucial fact.

Surprise, surprise!

http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article.aspx?id=531579

IPCC’s River Of Lies

Posted 04/27/2010 07:01 PM ET

Global Warming: Another shoe has dropped from the IPCC centipede as scientists in Bangladesh say their country will not disappear below the waves. As usual, the U.N.’s climate charlatans forgot one tiny detail.

It keeps getting worse for the much-discredited Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which seems to have built its collapsing house of climate cards on sand or, more specifically, river sediment.

After fraudulent claims about Himalayan glaciers, African crop harvests and Amazon rain forests, plus a 2007 assessment report based on anecdotal evidence, student term papers and nonpeer-reviewed magazine articles, the panel’s doomsday forecast for Bangladesh has been exposed as its latest hoax.

According to the 2007 report, melting glaciers and polar ice would lead to rising sea levels and just a three-foot rise would flood 17% of the low-lying country of Bangladesh by 2050 and create 20 million refugees.

Now comes a study from the  that says the IPCC forgot to factor in the 1 billion tons of sediment carried by Himalayan rivers such as the Ganges and the Brahmaputra into Bangladesh every year.

CEGIS director Maminul Haque Sarker told AFP that “studies on the effects of climate change in Bangladesh, including those quoted by the IPCC, did not consider the role of sediment in the growth and adjustment process of the country’s coast and rivers to the sea level rise.” Even if sea levels rose according to IPCC predictions, Sarker says, natural sediment deposits would cancel the effect of any rise.

Apocalyptic changes forecast by climate change alarmists, according to Swedish geologist and physicist Nils-Axel Morner, former head of the International Commission on Sea Level Change, are not in the cards. Despite fluctuations down as well as up, “the sea is not rising,” he says. It hasn’t risen in 50 years.”

If there is any rise this century it will “not be more than 10 cm (four inches), with an uncertainty of plus or minus 10 cm.”

Six times he and his expert team visited the Maldive Islands to confirm that the sea has not risen for half a century. Similarly in Tuvalu, where local leaders have been calling for the inhabitants to be evacuated for 20 years, the sea has, if anything, dropped in recent decades. Venice, Italy, has been sinking rather than the Adriatic rising, says Dr. Morner.

IPCC Chairman Rajendra Pachauri defended his organization’s predictions by warning that “on the basis of one study one cannot jump to conclusions.” Yet he and the IPCC jumped to the conclusion that Himalayan glaciers would disappear by 2035 based on unsubstantiated student theses and anecdotes from a magazine for mountain climbers. These claims have been withdrawn amid much laughter.

Still, Pachauri persists in his fables. “One single error doesn’t take anything away from the major findings of the report,” he said. “The fact is that the glaciers are melting.” At least the glaciers in Iceland are, due to natural forces, namely volcanic activity. Even if real, not everything can be blamed on man.

In February, it was reported that India was pulling out of the IPCC because it could no longer trust the U.N. body’s data or conclusions. The day after India’s announcement, the Netherlands asked the U.N. to explain why the IPCC had said in its 2007 report, which helped it win its share of a Nobel Prize shared with Al Gore, that 55% of the country was below sea level, a figure the Dutch say is closer to 26%.

There’s been a sea change in the consideration of the bogus claims of the IPCC, Gore, Britain’s CRU and other climate charlatans. No longer accepted on faith, they are being challenged and disproven by scientific fact.

Our sediments exactly.

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Shipping Trash to Save the Planet

Toronto is facing a serious garbage problem because three local recyclers have gone out of business due to financial difficulties, rising costs and falling demand:

The Canadian Polystyrene Recycling Association closed last month, for the second time in less than three years, leaving Toronto without a local end market for the foamed plastic electronics and food packaging that it began collecting at the end of 2008.

And broken glass is piling up at Toronto sorting plants after recycler Unical in Brampton closed due to financial difficulties last week. The glass processor opened in the summer of 2008 with a $1.75 million investment by industry-funded Stewardship Ontario, which shares the cost of municipal recycling programs. Toronto sends about 1,250 tons a month to the plant.

Durham has been doubly whacked by the recent suspension of Atlantic Packaging’s Whitby plant, which recycled all of the region’s newsprint. The company closed because of rising operating costs and lower demand.

Toronto will now ship much of its ‘eco-friendly’ recycle collection to Montreal (628 round-trip miles) or London, Ontario (260 round-trip miles).  If it strikes you as odd that a city would ship garbage that was specifically sorted to ‘magically’ save the planet, remember – this is Toronto.  The city has a history of sending its trash long distances, sometimes as far as China.

Since 2007, Toronto sent 74 trucks of garbage per day to Carlton Farms Landfill in Michigan, a round-trip distance of 522 miles.  According to carbon emission calculators, that’s a tad over 90 tonnes of CO2 per truck, per year.  Or 6,660 tonnes annually.

saving the planet, one truck at a time

From this year, Toronto is supposed to ship trash to Green Lane Landfill near London, Ontario, a round-trip distance of 260 miles which will cut the distance and emissions by half.  But that was before the local recyclers closed down.

Currently Torontonians hold their noses to sort household garbage into four categories: Garbage Bin, Blue Bin, Green Bin and yard waste.  Maybe they should ask why they bother?

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Low Carbon a better choice than low class

This year’s annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner promises to be a low-carbon dinner.

That’s the green angle, the better news is that NBC talk-show host Jay Leno will be hosting, which is a step up from low-class lefty Wanda Sykes’ efforts last year:

“Mr. President . . . you’ve had your fair share of critics. … Rush Limbaugh, one of your big critics, boy — Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails. So you’re saying, ‘I hope America fails.’ You’re like, ‘I don’t care about people losing their homes, their jobs or our soldiers in Iraq.’ He just wants our country to fail.

To me, that’s treason. He’s not saying anything differently than Osama bin Laden is saying. You know you might want to look into this, sir, because I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight

“Too much?

“You’re laughing inside, I know you’re laughing.

“Rush Limbaugh — I hope the country fails. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that?

“He needs a waterboarding, that’s what he needs.”

But it’s the Tea Party who are the haters.

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Poles Apart

Why are believers in global warming so incompetent when it comes to Arctic exploration?

Last week Tom Smitheringale became the latest global warming alarmist to need rescuing from his own foolishness.  His attempt to reach the North pole was, of course, to ‘bring attention’ to the issue of climate change.

cold, not cool

There is quite the list of other warmists unable to cope with the Arctic in recent years:

In 2009 Pen Hadow and his team had to be rescued from their global warming stunt:

Project director and ice team leader Pen Hadow and his colleagues Martin Hartley and Ann Daniels are now down to half rations and fighting to survive in brutal sub-zero weather conditions.

The year before, eco-adventurer Lewis Gordon Pugh was similarly thwarted:

August 30, 2008, from the BBC: Lewis Pugh plans to kayak 1200km (745 miles) to the North Pole to raise awareness of how global warming has melted the ice sheet . . . This year, for the first time, scientists predict that the North Pole could briefly be ice-free and that has inspired Mr Pugh . . .

September 6, 2008, from Reuters: Pugh’s kayak trip ended at 81 degrees north, about 1000km from the Pole. (A) barrier of sea ice . . . eventually blocked his route north . . .

And the year before that,  Ann Bancroft and Liv Arnesen paid the price for thinking the Arctic was warmer than it actually is

Compare those incompetent warmists with the British couple that walked to the arctic unsupported to raise funds for injured war veterans.  No eco-ego trip and no rescue required.

Or the ex-Royal Marine that flew his 9-year old to meet him at the Pole after successfully guiding a group of Chinese business-people to the top of the planet.  No eco-ego trip and no rescue required.

In fact, getting to the Pole isn’t hard at all.  You can book your own adventure right here.  Top Gear famously drove it.

So why do warmists always need rescuing?

Could it be that successful trips over the Arctic are so commonplace  that ‘dramatic’ rescues are the only way to get the into headlines?

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We Know this Much: He’s Irksome!

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America has made the mistake of allowing A students to run things, according to P.J. O’Rourke, and it isn’t pretty:

It can take decades to measure the outcome of an education. Did the A student at architecture school become a respected partner at Skidmore, Owings and Merrill, or did he become Albert Speer? Likewise with politics. Did Woodrow Wilson’s meddling in Europe wreak havoc upon the globe? We wouldn’t know for 20 years. Did Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal totally destroy the fabric of American society? We’re not absolutely certain even now. Meanwhile Woodrow Wilson, FDR, the class valedictorian, and Albert Speer were inputting like crazy.  A Plague of A Students

The Manchurian President: Barack Obama’s Ties to Communists, Socialists and Other Anti-American Extremists

Now this is interesting:  IndyMac Attack: Did Schumer, Paulson, Soros, and the CRL Kill the Bank and Profit From Its Collapse?

Trashy Movies

This eco-movie is getting a lot of play around the intertubes.

‘The Plastic Bag questions the environmental impact of consumerism…. zzzzzzz’

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If 18 minutes seems like too long to devote to artsy nonsense featuring a plastic bag, try this other artsy nonsense featuring a plastic bag, it’s only 2 minutes long:

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You’re welcome.

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Ahoy there, maties!

So its been busy ‘round here at Casa Paua lately, and I apologise for my absence from ye olde blogosphere. Ive been busy with the almost-but-not-quite doctor thing, and got sidetracked by writing a research paper in a field that I don’t even like. A father-figure scientist asked me in passing if I could work something out for him, and being a very well adjusted individual I said something frankly oedipal, like “Sure thing, Big Daddy! Just tell me I’m a good girl.” However, I think I have finished that one now, and I am currently waiting to hear back from a Norwegian woman with a voice like a bloke on whether my hack attempts at sciency stuff passes muster. Wish me luck.

In general I would like to say I am a fairly well adjusted individual, but 24 hour hospital shifts have definitely brought out the juvenile in me. So I apologise to anyone who has caught me doing three-sixties on the roller chair at the nurse’s station, and similarly would like to say sorry to that rather freaked-out looking patient who busted me doing a Mr. Bean-like dance of frustration in front of that broken vending machine the other night at 2am. If you keep your mouth shut, I won’t tell Nurse-zilla you were out smoking on the deck with your IV-pole.

But enough about me. Now you know why I feel the need to offload a little (and it was easier than finding something new to write about.) Those of you who follow my previous blog may be interested to hear some follow-up on the Reefgate scandal. Well, when I say scandal, its not really a huge scandal yet, but I am trying my damndest (can I say that on this blog?) darn-dest to make it so.

So some quick backstory to bring all y’all up to speed: Australia has this big reefy thing called the Great Barrier Reef that we are very chuffed about being able to see from space, because we didn’t get it together to build a big wall. The Big Reef is administered by a special arm of beaurocracy (and by special, I mean special in the context of “Little Johnny isn’t dumb, he’s just special”) called the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority (GBRMPA – pronounced “Geh-broom-pa”). They generally specialise in justifying their own existence, which requires vast sums of money, then think up dire threats to the reef, which they then have to “manage”. Invariably, because the reef is huge and almost no-one except “lost” Timorese fishermen ever utilise it, they can then say that their management attempts were immensely successful.

Awhile ago, it occurred to GBRMPA that not only could they cripple the tiny commercial fishing industry, they could also stop the tiny handful of people who actually go near the reef from going there. So they got the idea of locking everything up in Marine Protected Areas, or MPAs. This then allowed them to sit out on the reef in a boat and arrest anyone deemed to have been fishing or who accidentally passed over a No-go zone. The really cool thing, was that this offence was deemed to be a major crime, and so anyone arrested for this would face pretty much losing their entire livelihoods depending on what their profession was. As you can imagine, all of this is going down a treat with the sports-fishing Orthopaedic surgeon crowd, who are continuing to oppose most of the insanity.

Then the PEW Trust (aka “the face of evil”) got wind of this and came Down Under to start throwing filthy lucre around (PM Kevin says “Thanks”, BTW), and decided that what we needed to do was lock the entire reef up in MPA’s. GBRMPA, meanwhile, needed to justify their MPA’s, and so published a paper outlining their success in the prestigious journal PNAS that read like a whos-who of the GBRMPA marine research crowd. Unfortunately for them, PNAS has some fairly stringent guidelines on submissions, most of which the paper shamelessly flouted. For instance, they failed to declare some obvious conflicts of interest, given that almost all the authors were funded by GBRMPA, and several of the lead authors by PEW, and almost all of them were reviewing the results of their own previous work. If that weren’t enough, they even managed to contradict their own, earlier findings. Ooopsy. A marine scientist by the name of Walter Starck noticed all of this and wrote to PNAS and GBRMPA for a please explain, and so far the silence on the subject has been thunderous.

Then I take a look at my blog and notice that some turkey has taken a swipe at me in a so-far unpublished comment because I outlined the backroom PEW-GBRMPA circle jerk, to the effect that describing this as a “conspiracy” shows up my own ignorance. Or sumfing. To which I would like to say, firstly, that I don’t think I actually used the word conspiracy, but just say I had: “what exactly do you think a conspiracy looks like when it’s at home?” It doesn’t have to be a bunch of dudes in funny hats with a secret handshake putting eyeballs on dollar bills, its simply two or more groups with vested interests arranging together to further those common interests. Similarly, a cartel doesn’t have to be a bunch of Columbian narcotraficantes with AK-47s and way-cool moustaches, it can also be a group of doctors who get together to price fix and arrange who is going to practice at which hospital.

If you’re still with me at this stage, thanks for hanging in there. Hopefully the whole Reefgate thing is gathering steam and eventually GBRMPA and PNAS are going to be forced to address all this. Australia is downright embarrassing in its utilisation of marine resources, with one of the largest EEZ per capita ratios in the world, we import almost 80% of our seafood from Asia and New Zealand. Somehow, rather than sustainably managing our own fisheries, we have been so crippled by the urban-eco crowd that we thought it more ethical to stop Australian fishing altogether in favour of rorting an already overburdened one in a developing nation. Just don’t tell the hippies that the sushi they are munching on came from a fish-farm in Thailand, and has more antibiotics in it than a battery hen.

And because you’ve been such good sports at reading through my introductory rant, heres a great barrier reef hotty called Lara Bingle, who wants to know “where the bl**dy hell are ya?”. Go on, you earnt it.

I was told this was allowed...

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St George’s Day

To all Englishmen and women, at home or abroad, a happy patron saint’s day to you.

So to all Anglo’s and anglophiles, happy St. George’s Day.  Down a pint or two and bask in the glory that just about no-one else knows what the hell you’re talking about today.

Oh, and this fine example of Englishness, just because:

English roses... can't beat 'em

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